No matter how hard I’ve tried to stay positive around family, it feels like I’ve been faced with constant negativity. I know for a fact that I’m not the only woman who has faced this.

*TRIGGER WARNING: ABUSE*

As a very young child, simply seeking love, my father would flick me hard on the mouth whenever I drooled—because he didn’t like how I looked—and hit me whenever he felt I was out of control (repeating what he’d experienced from his father). My mother was too scared to stand up to my father to stop the abuse.

When I was little and cried for comfort at night, my father forbade my mother from soothing me, forcing me to cry myself to sleep all night. Once again, my mother didn’t resist. Occasionally, this memory returned in the form of nightmares.

When I became pregnant and excited to learn about parenting, my ex dismissed it completely, saying he’d rather ignore the kids and “hit them if they got out of line” the old-school way, which made me seriously regret marrying him.

After nine months of careful health management, a month of bedrest, and a painful, complicated labor, I gave birth to our daughter—only to be yelled at by my ex for not calling his parents to congratulate them on the birth of their first grandchild.

For three years, I made extraordinary efforts to co-sleep with our daughter and finally helped her learn to self-soothe. I deliberately chose not to disturb my ex's sleep because he was working and I wanted to protect his rest. Instead of appreciating my consideration and the progress I made with my daughter, he became extremely resentful that he had to sleep alone.

When my daughter eventually began to thrive in a Montessori school with the support of a private aide, my ex refused to pay for the aide to continue, even though he could afford it. Without that support, my daughter had to be removed from the school due to behavioral issues.

When I discovered that occupational therapy could help my daughter physically, mentally, and emotionally, I dedicated two intensive months to learning and working with her. She began to thrive in school and even made friends, yet my ex dismissed the therapy as nonsense.

When I found an alternative energy-based therapy (N.A.E.T.) that helped improve my autistic son's gut health and immunity, my ex called it nonsense as well. Sadly, since the benefits of this treatment can be undone in a stressful environment, it’s likely that my son lost any progress once he returned to the tension of his dad’s house.

When I told my ex that I wanted to separate—because our values no longer aligned and he refused to get help for his stress and alcohol abuse—he became furious. When I added that I didn’t feel we had ever been in love and that I still had unresolved feelings for someone from my past, he became even more enraged and, over the next year, emotionally abused me and portrayed me to others as ‘crazy.’

The month before my separation—the first month of the school year—my son stayed with me and started to make solid progress at his elementary school thanks to my diligent efforts. After he began visiting his father, he started exhibiting serious behavioral challenges. When the school informed us it could no longer support his needs, he was ultimately transferred to a school for emotionally disturbed children.

My daughter initially refused to live at my ex’s house because she didn't have a good relationship with him. After my ex began forcibly picking her up from school, she told me—and later her therapist—that the environment at his home was very negative, with frequent yelling, belittling, and occasional hitting, mostly directed at her autistic brother.

When my two brothers harassed—and one physically assaulted—my daughter at my ex’s home, I had no choice but to file a police report. My daughter had repeatedly asked for privacy and did not want anyone entering her room, yet my ex kept unlocking her door and allowing family members in without her consent. In retaliation, my brothers made false allegations of mistreatment and ‘bipolar disorder’ against me, which prompted a sheriff to come to my home to question my daughter. She calmly clarified the facts with the officer, and the accusations were quickly resolved.

When my ex could not assure me that he would respect our daughter’s privacy, refrain from harming our children, or prevent others from doing so, I declined to allow him to pick them up, following my attorney’s advice. One day, when I stepped out briefly with my son, my ex snatched him up and took him back to his house. I remember that moment feeling like a Dementor from Harry Potter had sucked the life out of me and I was unable to focus for the rest of the day.

Things reached a point where I no longer had the energy to continue the custody battle, as it had become increasingly negative and emotionally draining. I chose instead to surrender the outcome to a Higher Power, trusting that justice and peace would unfold as they were meant to.

So, can there still be a happy ending to my story? Yes, because while I can't control the actions of others, I can control my own—and so can you.

If there are people in your life who've caused you pain or trauma, I encourage you to practice the EFGH Method: Empathize with them for their struggles, Forgive them, recognizing their heightened stress levels, Be Grateful for their positive actions and the growth they promote in you, and Hope for the best in their journey.

Next, I recommend downloading the Happier Day Flowchart, available for free on the home page of HappierMom.com.

No matter how negative your environment may be, it's crucial to recognize your own self-worth. Once you realize your self-worth, it’s time to step into your power, embrace your purpose, and impact as many lives as possible. 

Because a happy ending isn’t a destination—it’s a life well lived, lifting others along the way, no matter the negativity that surrounds it.