No matter how hard I’ve tried to stay positive around family, it feels like I’ve been faced with constant negativity. I know for a fact that I’m not the only woman who has faced this.

As a very young child, simply seeking love, my father would flick me hard on the mouth whenever I drooled—because he didn’t like how I looked—and hit me whenever he felt I was out of control. My mother never stood up to my father to stop the abuse.

When I was still little and cried for comfort at nighttime, my father forbade my mother from soothing me, forcing me to cry myself to sleep all night. Once again, my mother didn’t resist—she just let it happen. To this day, I still have nightmares about it.

When I became pregnant and excited to learn about parenting, my ex-husband dismissed it completely, saying he’d rather ignore the kids and “hit them if they got out of line” the old-school way, which made me seriously regret marrying him.

After nine months of careful health management, a month of bedrest, and a painful, complicated labor, I gave birth to our daughter—only to be yelled at by my ex for not calling his parents to congratulate them on the birth of their first grandchild.

For three years, I made extraordinary efforts to co-sleep with our daughter and finally helped her learn to self-soothe. Instead of appreciating my efforts, my ex was extremely resentful of me for making him sleep by himself.

When my daughter finally began to thrive in her Montessori school with the support of a private aide, my ex-husband refused to pay for the aide to stay with her even though he could afford it. Without that support, my daughter had to be removed from the school due to behavioral issues.

When I discovered that occupational therapy could help my daughter physically, mentally, and emotionally, dedicated two intensive months to self-teaching and working with her, and helped her thrive in school and even make friends, my ex dismissed the therapy as nonsense.

When I found an alternative energy-based therapy, N.A.E.T., that helped improve my autistic son's gut health and immunity, my ex called it nonsense as well. Sadly, since the benefits of this treatment can be undone in a stressful environment, it’s likely that my son lost any progress once he returned to the tension of his dad’s house.

When I finally gathered the courage to tell my ex that I didn’t feel we had ever been in love and still had unresolved feelings for someone from my past, he became enraged and spent the next year emotionally abusing me. I had wanted to separate because he refused to get help for his stress and alcohol abuse, but I felt like my honesty only fueled his anger and mistreatment. Even though I showed exceptional resilience and grace during that time, he still spread false rumors about my mental health.

After separating from my ex, I tried to establish simple rules in my new home—no screen time, no candy, a healthy routine, fresh air, and kindness. Instead of peace, I was met with destructive behavior.

When I allowed my son to spend half the week with his dad, he came back acting out in destructive ways—likely mirroring what he experienced there.

When my two brothers harassed and one physically assaulted my daughter at my ex’s home, I had no choice but to file a police report. In response, a sheriff came to my house to interrogate my daughter based on false accusations from my brothers of mistreatment and bipolar disorder—allegations that my daughter was easily able to clear up.

When my ex couldn’t assure me that he wouldn’t invade my daughter’s privacy, harm my children, or allow others to do the same, I refused to let him pick my children up. One day, when I stepped out briefly with my son, my ex snatched him up and took him back to his house. I remember that moment feeling like a Dementor from Harry Potter had sucked the life out of me and I was unable to focus for the rest of the day.

Things reached a point where I no longer had the energy to continue the custody battle, as it had become increasingly negative and emotionally draining. I chose instead to surrender the outcome to a Higher Power, trusting that justice and peace would unfold as they were meant to, and focus my energy on pursuing more meaningful endeavors.

So can there still be a happy ending to my story? Yes, because while I can't control the actions of others, I can control my own—and so can you.

First, if there have been any individuals in your life who have caused you suffering or even trauma, I highly recommend practicing the EFGH Method: Empathize with them because of their struggles, Forgive them, recognizing their heightened stress levels, Be Grateful for their positive actions and the growth they promote in you, and Hope for the best in their journey.

Next, I recommend downloading Happier Mom’s 3-Step Hack to a Mega-Productive Day, available for free when you share your email address on the main page of HappierMom.com.

No matter how negative your environment may be, it's crucial to recognize your own self-worth. Once you realize your self-worth, it’s time to step into your power, embrace your purpose, and impact as many lives as possible. 

Because a happy ending isn’t a destination—it’s a life well lived, lifting others along the way, no matter the negativity that surrounds it.