After deep self-reflection, multiple conversations with a therapist, and fruitless attempts at reconciliation, I ultimately made the difficult decision to get a divorce. The ongoing disrespect from my husband was something I could no longer endure, and I didn't want my children, particularly my daughter, to perceive that kind of behavior as acceptable. I noticed my kids beginning to mirror that disrespect, and I knew something had to change. If my husband wasn’t going to love me for who I was, I knew I had to start doing it myself.

Divorce is undeniably challenging, but it doesn’t have to cost you your peace of mind. The Happier Mom Daily Celebration Journal, included in the Happier Mom App, can help you maintain a positive mindset throughout the divorce process. It also contains affirmations that can help you envision a more positive future. 

If you feel that your marriage no longer allows you to be happy, acknowledging that truth is an important first step. Change can feel overwhelming, but ignoring your own needs can be just as difficult. You deserve a life built on respect, peace, and being true to who you are.

If you’re serious about pursuing a divorce, here are ten essential tips to help you navigate the process more smoothly:

1. Seek Professional Guidance: Consider therapy to ensure you're making a well-informed decision about your divorce. For many people, therapy can help determine whether reconciliation is possible and, if not, support the decision to move forward. If your partner is unwilling to participate, remember that prioritizing your well-being—and that of your children—is a valid and important choice. Hire an Attorney: If you are a stay-at-home mom or currently don't have your own income, you may be able to negotiate for your partner to cover legal fees. Having proper legal support can help protect your interests and provide clarity during the process.
2. Maintain Calm Communication: Effective communication with your partner is essential. If they become aggressive, make it clear that you won’t engage unless the conversation remains calm, positive, and respectful. To de-escalate, consider setting firm boundaries, using noise-canceling headphones, or removing yourself from the situation to ensure safety. Finding a temporary place to stay can be a wise choice, especially to protect your well-being and that of your children. When urgent matters involving the children arise, consider texting rather than engaging in heated conversations. Keep in mind that your partner’s behavior with the children is beyond your control—focus on your own goals and self-improvement rather than reacting to provocations.
3. Practice the EFGH Method: Consider practicing the EFGH Method by embracing empathy, forgiveness, gratitude, and hope throughout the divorce process. Empathize with your partner's stress, forgive them for their negative actions because they were likely acting under stress, be grateful for their positive actions, and hope the best for them. Consider also extending your gratitude to your partner’s family members for any positive support they may offer.
4. Reduce Your Partner's Stress: When possible and appropriate, aim to reduce unnecessary conflict by being cooperative around the children and shared parenting responsibilities. This can help create a calmer environment for everyone involved while still honoring your own boundaries.
5. Embrace Lightheartedness: A sense of humor can be a powerful ally during challenging times. Instead of letting tensions escalate, consider gently incorporating lightheartedness into your interactions when appropriate. For instance, you might make a playful comment or share a humorous observation to diffuse tension. This approach can create a more relaxed atmosphere, helping both you and your children navigate the situation with a bit more ease.
6. Opt for Mediation Over Court: Mediation is often faster and more cost-effective than going to court. Consider working with a mediator who is also an attorney, as they can offer legal insight while guiding both parties toward a fair resolution. Look for a mediator who is prompt, knowledgeable, and well-recommended to increase the likelihood of a smooth process. A skilled mediator can help minimize delays and ensure the agreement is legally sound and aligned with your best interests.
7. Prepare Asset Division: Before entering mediation, take time to list and evaluate all assets in an organized spreadsheet. Carefully consider how these assets might be fairly divided, including any interests you may have in your partner’s properties. If you and your partner are able to discuss and outline asset division in advance, it can help streamline the mediation process and support a more efficient and amicable outcome.
8. Be Reasonable with Support: When negotiating spousal and child support, it can be helpful to focus on ensuring your basic needs are covered rather than aiming for the maximum possible amount. In my own experience, I prioritized meeting key expenses—such as housing, transportation, living costs, and student debt—rather than pursuing more than was necessary. I also agreed to a plan in which my ex would impute reasonable income after one year, which helped create an arrangement that felt fair and manageable for both of us.
9. Be Generous During Mediation: Approach mediation with a spirit of openness and goodwill. When appropriate, being willing to compromise can support a more amicable resolution and a smoother transition for everyone involved—while still honoring your own needs and boundaries.
10. Save Wisely: If you happen to receive a larger sum during your divorce, you may choose to view it as an opportunity to thoughtfully invest in your future and your children’s well-being. This could include easing your daily load through additional support, investing in education or extracurricular activities, or creating meaningful experiences together. Each choice can help support a more intentional and grounded next chapter.

• Regardless of the amount involved, supporting your financial well-being starts with budgeting for essentials such as housing, taxes, and emergency expenses. If you’re considering starting a business, you may also want to set aside funds for that purpose. Some people find meaning in allocating a portion of their resources toward charitable giving, as giving back can be deeply fulfilling. Thoughtful financial planning can help create stability and support your long-term goals as you move forward.

By following these tips, you can navigate the divorce process with greater ease and begin paving the way toward a more positive and fulfilling new chapter. Trust in yourself and remember that you can do this!