After deep self-reflection, multiple conversations with a therapist, and fruitless attempts at reconciliation, I ultimately made the difficult decision to get a divorce. The ongoing disrespect from my husband was something I could no longer endure, and I didn't want my children, particularly my daughter, to perceive that kind of behavior as acceptable. I noticed my kids beginning to mirror that disrespect, and I knew something had to change. If my husband wasn’t going to love me for who I was, I knew I had to start doing it myself.

Divorce is undeniably challenging, but it doesn't have to cost you your peace of mind. By maintaining a positive mindset with the support of the Happier Mom Journal and following the tips below, you can begin building your own haven—or perhaps even your own empire! If envisioning a positive future feels difficult, try incorporating the affirmations from the Happier Mom Journal into your daily routine. These affirmations can help you take a quantum leap into a life of peace and fulfillment.

If you believe you deserve much greater happiness than your current marriage offers, the choice is yours: start the ascent toward a life of your dreams, with all its hurdles, or resign yourself to a life of misery dictated by others. What will you choose?

In case you’re still feeling uncertain about your future, have faith and courage that the right people will come into your life as long as you persevere and believe in yourself. Life mirrors what you believe you deserve, so trust in your incredible potential, and know that you deserve nothing but the best!

If you’re serious about pursuing a divorce, here are ten essential tips to help you navigate the process more smoothly:

1. Seek Professional Guidance: Consider therapy to ensure that you are making a well-informed decision about your divorce. If reconciliation is not possible despite therapy, or if your partner is unwilling to participate, remember that you have the right to pursue your own happiness. Prioritize your well-being and that of your children, demonstrating that respect and personal fulfillment are essential values. Hire an Attorney: If you are a stay-at-home mom who doesn't have income, you can negotiate for your partner to cover legal fees, ensuring that you have the legal support you need to protect your interests.
2. Maintain Calm Communication: Effective communication with your partner is essential. If they become aggressive, make it clear that you won't engage unless they are calm, positive, and respectful. To de-escalate, you might record instances of physical or emotional abuse (which may stop the behavior), use noise-canceling headphones, or leave the house to ensure safety. Finding a temporary place to stay can be a wise choice, especially to protect the well-being of yourself and your children. When urgent matters involving the children arise, consider texting. Keep in mind that your partner's behavior with the children is beyond your control—focus on your own goals and self-improvement rather than reacting to their provocations.
3. Practice the EFGH Method: Embrace empathy, forgiveness, gratitude, and hope throughout the process. Empathize with your partner’s pain and stress, forgive their negative actions, express gratitude for any positive contributions, and remain hopeful for their future. Extend your gratitude to your partner’s family members for any positive support they offer.
4. Reduce Your Partner's Stress: Aim to alleviate your partner's stress by being cooperative regarding the children and assisting with parenting responsibilities whenever possible.
5. Embrace Lightheartedness: A sense of humor can be a powerful ally during challenging times. Instead of letting tensions escalate, try incorporating a bit of lightheartedness into your interactions. For instance, you might make a playful comment or share a humorous observation to diffuse tension. This approach can create a more relaxed atmosphere, helping both you and your children navigate the situation with a bit more ease.
6. Opt for Mediation Over Court: Mediation is often faster and more cost-effective than going to court. Consider hiring a mediator who is also an attorney, as they can provide legal insights while guiding both parties toward a fair resolution. Ensure your mediator is prompt, knowledgeable, and well-recommended to maximize the chances of a smooth process. A skilled mediator can help you avoid unnecessary delays and ensure that all aspects of the agreement are legally sound and in your best interest.
7. Prepare Asset Division: Before entering mediation, take the time to list and evaluate all assets in an organized Excel spreadsheet. Carefully assess how these assets should be fairly divided, including any interests you may have in your partner’s properties. If you and your partner can negotiate the division of assets beforehand, it can significantly streamline the mediation process and lead to a more efficient and amicable outcome.
8. Be Reasonable with Support: When negotiating spousal and child support, prioritize covering your basic needs rather than aiming for excessive amounts. My approach was to ensure that my key expenses—such as housing and auto expenses, living expenses, and student debt—were met, rather than seeking to extract the maximum amount from my ex. Additionally, I arranged for my ex to impute reasonable income after one year, which helped create a fair and manageable agreement.
9. Be Generous During Mediation: Approach mediation with a spirit of generosity. Being open to compromise can lead to a more amicable resolution and a smoother transition.
10. Save Wisely: Secure your financial future by budgeting for housing, taxes, and emergency expenses. If you're thinking about starting a business, set aside funds for that endeavor. Additionally, consider allocating resources for charitable contributions, as giving back can be incredibly fulfilling. Careful financial planning will provide stability and support your long-term goals as you move forward.

• If you happen to receive a substantial sum that was previously sitting idle in your ex’s account, see it as a blessing. This is your chance to make the most of those funds and reallocate them in ways that can enrich your future and your children's lives. Whether it’s hiring a housecleaner, family assistant, or fitness trainer to ease your load, investing in private schooling, tutoring, or extracurricular activities for your kids, or even exploring new places together as a family, each decision can create lasting memories and opportunities.
• If a substantial sum isn’t part of the equation, that’s perfectly okay! Remember, you can’t put a price on peace of mind and the freedom that comes with knowing you’re on the right path. Focus on building a life that brings you joy and security, and know that small, thoughtful choices can lead to significant positive changes over time.

By following these tips, you can navigate the divorce process with greater ease and pave the way for a more positive and fulfilling new chapter in your life. Trust in yourself, and know you can do this!