When you go through a divorce, you can expect others to judge you, gossip about you, and even call you crazy. You may find yourself feeling betrayed and deeply hurt by those you once believed cared about you. If this happens, all you need to keep in mind is that this is simply part of your journey. 

You were meant to navigate these murky waters to eventually find the light and blossom like a lotus flower—beautiful, resilient, and admired by all. Believe in yourself, and you’ll reach that place where it all becomes worth it. Let others remain in the murky waters while you rise above, because you deserve nothing but the best and are capable of achieving it.

45 years ago, my family became part of a small Indian classical music community that became my cultural foundation. This community grew to play a vital role for thousands of Indian children in Southern California, instilling in us values of discipline, empathy, and faith, and shaping us to positively influence the world around us.

My father poured his heart into building this community. He organized countless concerts, aiming to create a bright future for the Indian children in the community, and hosted numerous musicians in our home. My mother made freshly cooked meals for the musicians while my father treated them with the utmost respect as though they were gods. My father’s dedication even cost him his job, as he took many days off from work to pick up musicians from the airport, host them, and show them around Los Angeles. Despite these sacrifices, he never regretted his actions as they arose from a genuine, selfless love for the music and the community.

After my parents separated, my mother relied on teaching music to make a living. Since my father struggled with keeping a steady job and saving money for his family, we started with nothing. I was determined and proud to help my mom in any way possible, including applying for food stamps to cut costs and walking to the store to carry heavy groceries back home. I was often teased by other kids at school for wearing ugly worn-out clothes, but it never bothered me. My mother’s unwavering faith sustained her as she fully dedicated herself to every student, eventually building a thriving music school. Thanks to her success, I was able to finance my own business, as no one else, not even my brothers or husband, offered any kind of financial support.

I had planned to attend a festival honoring contributors to an Indian classical music organization that began 40 years ago, including my parents (though my father’s work might not be recognized as it predates this organization). However, the thought of attending feels suffocating because of all the negative talk surrounding my divorce. Instead of driving south to attend the festival, I’ll be flying north to Mt. Shasta from September 18-22! While negative people may drain me, nature will always be there to recharge me.

I have great admiration for those of you who courageously leave toxic relationships, holding your heads up high despite others’ opinions. By doing so, you honor yourself and your children, especially your daughters. Life is too short to invest your heart in people who won’t offer theirs in return.

Ultimately, what you leave behind in this world is the love you’ve shared, the wisdom you’ve passed on, and the tangible things you’ve created. I’d rather make a positive impact on humanity, even if it means doing so alone, than be surrounded by those who judge and criticize. I believe this would be the best way to honor my parents.